he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
