Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
