Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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