Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
sarcasm needs its own font
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
