Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
