ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
