Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
