Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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