all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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