It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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