So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
