nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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