I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
