so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
