Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
