you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
