Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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