Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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