Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
how can u be prego again
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
