It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
