so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
