If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
