she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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