I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
