There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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