What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
