Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
