69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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