the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
