is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
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