Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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