By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
All the doctor said was why
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
