I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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