I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
