Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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