I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Randomize
