This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
