We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
