i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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