i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
