I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Dick very happy bro
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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