just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
