I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
