I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
