That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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