He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
