I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
