yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I think i got beer on your cat.
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