There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Randomize
