dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
