Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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