I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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