So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
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