you guys were way drunker than both of me
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
